synapse, gangleon, the cerebellum, and stimulation

I got a new position and started it on monday. It's incredibly fun and easy and in no way very challenging at all, which, would make it seem like somewhat of a perfect job... fun, easy, I make good money, etc. But, there is nothing about it that challenges me, forces me to problem solve, or use my brain in much more ways than to say, "yeah dude those look (rock and roll, money, hot, awesome, tight...whatever descriptive word you choose) on you and that size it perfect too" just to get the man to buy the $300 pair of denim. Granted there is more to the job than that it's just that it mostly seems to be common sense. 

I think maybe it's that I'm totally stuck in the decision making process between what I should really do, and what I can do to just get by. It sounds like an easy decision, but it's not for some reason. Maybe it will be an easier decision once I hear back about another position in the company in which it would be vital to use my intelligence? 

Feeling stuck is ridiculous and not good for my well being I believe ... man. 

I think I'm going to find something to take up my time like, a puppy, or a cooking class, or maybe I will learn french... those all sound appealing.

***M

hmm

I think when I die in order for things to be easier for everyone still living on this fine planet I'm going to negotiate with the big man upstairs that instead of everyone waisting their time on dating perhaps we should all just see a big red arrow atop the person's  head who is the supposed "one" for us.... we should also come built with all of the knowledge of what it is to treat your spouse or whathaveyou with respect....romance should also be built in. ... just a thought..... when did romance die? and when did it  become ok for every man to be an arrogant prick? these are just a few of the questions I have.

***M

So I have this job where I have to be "proper" and composed and perfect yet super upbeat.... none of these things is anywhere near what my supposed real personality is but whatever.  So I recently came to the conclusion that being a manager is not at all what I want to be doing nor is it anything I hope to continue to do. If I really wanted that for myself I feel I would have 3 children who don't listen to me until the negotiation becomes a dictatorship and then BOOM!!! I'm required to be a micro managing mom.... To this I say,  "no thanks." Don't get me wrong there are wonderful parts to managing. The parts where I'm more of a leader than an actual manager, and the parts where I help my girls to become better sales people and teach them new things and the parts where they realize that they can make a difference in someone's life by just being their wonderful selves. Those are the parts that I love but I don't feel that they are enough to cancel out the part where I can't leave work at work and the rest of my life is affected by the miserable parts of my job.

So  I had a more professional version of this conversation to the people above me to which they replied with "if this is not a role that you want to be in or like then I cannot support you any longer in this role.  We need to find you something new..... by the 10th of the month." I was then sent on my way. What all  of this means is that I have until November 10th to find a new position in the company I am in now, seamlessly and without anyone noticing. I'm not exactly sure how I am going to do this. Its a scary scary place to be yet as I walked out of that office where the conversation took place I felt an incredible weight being lifted off of my conscious because maybe, just maybe I will find a job that allows me to be me and that I don't have to take home every night and worry about a 35% decrease ruining my reputation and my career. 

Don't get me wrong I am still terrified of not finding something in time to pay all the bills and the rent.... I just moved into a house my bruises from running into boxes and trying to lift things that are entirely to heavy are still fresh, and here I am looking for a new job... God speed I guess? 

***M